Never thought
by GryffindorSlytherinfirebender
Summary: I knew. I knew from the minute the dark lord gave me this mission. My life was going to be over. That I will never be the safe. There won't be no second chances. No rewind and let me start again. I knew I needed to say this before it was too late. Before I have the chance to taint you.  Before I risk your life. "I love you. I love you hermione granger. "
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

I wasn't sure when I notice it. Or at least when I accepted it. If I think hard I may have had some attraction in the fourth year. But I guess I didn't really notice it until the sixth year. I'm pretty sure I wasn't the only one that notice the sudden transformation. But I was the one that actually did something about it and not just stood to the side like some flower.

I knew it wasn't going to be easy. I knew I wasn't going to be taken seriously but fucking merlin I had to try. And I'm glad I did. The last few months were heaven. And it was all worth it to this final moment.

A slithering voice hissed as I stood there. "Well it seems like Draco refuse to tell us why he didn't kill the old bat. Oh well you shall learn your lesson."

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes imagining my perfect girl. Her brown hazel eyes, her untamed curly hair, her small heart shape face, the smile she makes whenever she discovered something, the red and gold she always wore. I love you hermione granger.

"CRUCIO!"

the order headquarters

"DRACO!"

Harry and Ron came running in hearing hermoine scream.

"Hermoine what's wrong? Did something happen? " Harry and Ron said at the same time. It's some talent they have.

"oh. It's nothing the baby just kicked" Hermione said as she placed her hand over her belly.

"Don't scare us like that again. Molly says dinner will be ready soon." The boys said as they left.

"Don't worry about daddy he's fine. He's a slytherin he'll find his way out and back to us. How did we get here little one? "

Months before...


	2. Chapter 2

**chapter one**

_One year ago..._

"Draco. My son, are you ready?" Lucius malfoy said as he stood by the door frame of his son's room.

"Yes father." Draco said as he stood up flattening his black attire. Making sure there wasn't a wrinkle. Draco knew the importance of tonight for him and his father.

* * *

><p>Draco walked behind his father as he walked towards his welcoming. Draco had turned the age of 16 today and his father decided to give him a preview to the future lifestyle of becoming a death eater.<p>

Draco thought of the immense respect and envy he will receive from the other Slytherins. The fear he shall receive from the other houses. Feeling proud from the acceptance of his father draco stood tall ready for anything. His father always encouraged his bullying in school thinking it will aid him in the future.

But what draco didn't know as that his childlike bullying was nothing compare to the activities of death eaters.

Draco stood next to his father in an dark muggle town. Draco can see his aunt Bellatrix taunting greyback and other death eaters. Draco looked around it seemed like they were waiting for someone. Father said that today will be the day I become a man. A true malfoy. Draco was overjoyed of the fact his father finally acknowledged him. However he saw his mother was not happy.

"Friends, I see we all arrived to this joyous moment." Said by the most feared man of the century.

Draco felt chills down his back as he heard his hissing behind his back. Voldemort came from behind and walked towards the front of his followers. Followed by nagini. The long snake brought fear to the deatheaters.

" Today is a much important day to the malfoy family. The day their only son and heir begins his journey to stand beside his brother and sisters. Come boy."

Lucius malfoy pushed his adolescent son towards the most ruthless killer of the century without a second thought. Being caught surprised draco stumbled and fell on his knees in front of voldemort. Causing Bellatrix and many followers to begin laughing at the foolishness of draco.

"Silence. This boy knows to show respect. Rise boy." Voldemort said arrogantly. He knew draco was terrified of him. Good.

Draco nervously stood in front of voldemort. And without a moment of hesitation the dark lord entered draco' mind. It was a painful sensation draco was so confused and worried what was happening. Memories began to conjure in his mind. All the scenes with harry all the scenes of bullying his fellow Slytherins taunting other students. And draco felt voldemort was trying to tap into his precious memories but draco figured those should be the last thing voldemort sees.

Without even trying draco pushed voldemort out of his mind. Voldemort didn't sense it as he was leaving himself from draco's memories.

"Well this bit certainly shows the potential of being a death eater." Draco could hear his father giving off a sigh of relief. "But it's not over yet. Greyback your gift."

Draco stood there feeling the cold sweat coming down his forehead as greyback came forward dragging what looked like two sacks of bodies. But looking closer draco can see it was two bodies.

"Tonight marks the welcoming of a new brother in our circles. Lucius you must be so proud"

Lucius malfoy bowed before he spoke,"it's an honor my lord."

"Draco malfoy to begin your first night you must commit a forbidden curse on these two muffles. After you witness the power that we have over them. BELLATRIX!"

"Yes my lord" draco's aunt happily said as she walked her way to the muggles. With a flick of voldemort's hand he gave permission for the first curse.

Bellatrix screechy voice yelled out "crucio!" To both muggles. Bellatrix was laughing enjoying watching them squirm and scream out of pain. While draco stood there watching his hateful aunt tortured the muggles. He watched as the girls screamed for mercy while the man begged for his life. What felt like hours of torture was only 30 mins.

Draco was shaking in fear when Bellatrix came over to him placing her claws on his shoulders. And whispered in his ear.

"Watch draco on what a man can do to filthy trash." Bellatrix said tauntingly.

One of the other death eaters came forward and began to rape the tortured girl. As she screamed with what little energy she had left. Draco felt like running away puking but he couldn't his aunt was holding him making him watch. Draco wished his mother was here to help. But looking for his father he saw him standing next to the dark lord with a stotic look.

After the girl was raped another death eater used the imperio cursed to play with the muggles as puppets. Flaunting them and throwing them around. Bellatrix was laughing heartily with the rest of the death eaters. Enjoying the ridiculous looks on their toys faces. Barely lifting his face draco saw that voldemort have left to talk with the inner circles member as if it was something important.

Draco closed his eyes trying to ignore the screams and laughter. He attempted to picture a girl's face. Laughing without carefree instead of the evil laughter he heard. Draco was like every other boy at Hogwarts. All falling for the gryffindor princess. A small crush he had towards her was comforting at this moment.

It wasn't that draco was all out with his feelings. He knew if he said a word to his father she will be hurt. Or worse. But draco can't help these feelings that began. He wasn't sure when it started but he knew it was more than a schoolboy crush. But he knows he can't bring her into this. She's the symbol of everything the death eaters hate. He can't do that to her.

"Enough!" Voldemort said as his secret inner meeting ended.

"Worm tail. Bring the boy his gifts." Voldemort said as he slithered his way to draco.

"Yes master." The frighten man said as he made his way to The muggle bodies that fell to the floor barely alive. Wormtail made the muggle couple bow on their knees to draco. Voldemort slithered his way to Draco and gave his final order regarding the couple. "Kill."

Draco was tired of this. He wanted to go home. this wasn't what he was expecting. He lifted his wand up gently. He doesn't even feel anything as he lifted his wand. His eyes already vacant showing the loss of his innocence.

"Avada kedavra" the words fell out of draco 's mouth barely in a whisper.

Draco watched as the man fell to the floor lifeless with cold eyes. The next killing curse fell straight in the middle of the woman's chest. Making her fall backwards on top of the man.

"Tonight we welcomed draco to our circle. For he successfully killed three people."

Draco head shot up. Three? He looked over to the woman and saw something that made him want to cry. The woman was pregnant. It was barely visible but it was there. The death eaters cheered and applauded. Draco didn't realize when his father stood behind him pushing him towards holding out his left arm to the dark lord.

"Tonight you are one of us." Voldemort said as for the first time in the night he have smiled. He then lifted his wand and pointed it to the forearm that Lucius presented to him. A single touch to the arm caused a blinding light and a tearing sensation to draco's skin.

Draco screamed in pain as the curse was inflicted onto his left forearm. As the dark mark was made on him.

* * *

><p>"Draco I am so proud and happy to have shared this moment at you tonight. It will be awhile that I'll be in azkaban. But the dark lord insists not to worry it won't be long. Listen to Bellatrix she will help you." Lucius malfoy left and closed the door behind him.<p>

Draco sat on his bed staring outside the window. The sleeve of his arm was pushed up revealing the fresh dark mark. Still searing on his skin making his pale skin red. Draco's eyes were bloodshot red as he tried so hard not to cry. His once aristocratic gray eyes are now vacant staring out with no life.

He looked down and saw the mark on his arm. Proof that he was a death eater now. "Please I need you. I need help." Draco said as he attempted to touch his arm to comfort it but it was too much pain.

Draco fell off the bed to sit on the floor. He closed his eyes as he remembered voldemort's last word to him.

"_Draco I will bestow upon you your first mission. As I hope you will succeeded better than your father." Voldemort said as he stare down draco._

_The deatheaters laughed thinking of Lucius malfoy failure in retrieving the prophecy._

_"Silence" voldemort said to continue. "You shall solve the mystery of the twin cabinets in order to help bring your brothers and sisters into hogwarts. And that night you shall kill dumbeldore." Voldemort whispered._

Draco began to cried as the horror of the night began to crash down onto him. I knew. I knew from the minute the dark lord gave me this mission. My life was going to be over. That I will never be the safe. There won't be no second chances. No rewind and let me start again. I knew I needed to say this before it was too late. Before I have the chance to taint you. Before I risk your life. "I love you. I love you hermione granger. "


End file.
